Bubble Trouble!!
Knowledge breeds taste…
And taste kills pleasure.
I don’t know where I read that, but it’s stayed in my mind. And it more or else sums up my current state of being, my likes and dislikes, my passion and my boredom, what I’d kill for and what I wouldn’t give a damn about. Till a while back, everything with me was a constant conflict between knowledge and pleasure. In my case, fortunately or unfortunately, the twain has never met. At least in the conventional sense. What are we getting at here? Let’s try making it coherent.
Its 4:30 AM, I’m in Delhi doing post-production for a forthcoming TV series. I’m at my wit’s end and taking a breather, sipping hot water and looking out the window, literally marvelling at how pretty the city looks. Yes, even in the dark. And thinking about myself. Not in that narcissistic way where I look in the mirror and say, “You’re gorgeous, baby!” But more like “where am I at and what next as yet another year comes to an end.” What brings such profound thoughts?
I got a call a few days ago from a good friend who’s a Bollywood scriptwriter in the big league. Now, without naming names, we must understand that there are two big leagues in Bollywood. The Cerebral Big League (No, it doesn’t include The Factory) and The League of Extraordinary Gloss (That which we love to hate but still watch!). Scriptwriter Friend is from the former and has healthy disdain for the latter. Him and I have spent many hours trying to convince each other about our respective leagues. He’d recently watched Dhoom-2 and the call was about that. He laughed as he confessed how he wanted to leave the theatre halfway through the film but stayed back after an interesting thought struck him. The fact that he should watch the second half of the film “completely from Vijayeta’s perspective,” trying to grasp what I would have “loved” about it and why. At which point, with much glee I informed him that I’d absolutely loved the new Don as well. He confessed to being deeply flummoxed and was waiting for me to return to Bombay, when he could ask me a few very basic questions about those films and if convinced, he’d be as big a believer as I am. Hearing that, I was deeply touched and also slightly amused. I ended up laughing and when the conversation ended I didn’t know if I was laughing out of happy amusement or was it the laughter of the hysterically insane. I had a feeling it was the latter.
So here I am right now, thinking about “My Perspective on Films” and how insane it really is. It’s shocking. So here’s where that quote about knowledge breeding taste comes to mind. When you do an MA in Film Studies, you’re subjected to a lot of textbook jargon about the craft of films. Painfully boring books called The Five Cs of Cinematography, Editing Explained, Sound Theory etc comprised a part of the killer syllabus. The other part, and the more interesting one was Film Appreciation which comprised watching up to 4 films a day in a cold auditorium and discussing each film to bits once over. We saw all kinds of films. They were usually divided into sections like Film Noir, French New Wave, Italian Neo- Realism, The Hollywood Classics and so on… Without inviting mainstream Bollywood cinema to the merry little party. Hmpfh!
And taste kills pleasure.
I don’t know where I read that, but it’s stayed in my mind. And it more or else sums up my current state of being, my likes and dislikes, my passion and my boredom, what I’d kill for and what I wouldn’t give a damn about. Till a while back, everything with me was a constant conflict between knowledge and pleasure. In my case, fortunately or unfortunately, the twain has never met. At least in the conventional sense. What are we getting at here? Let’s try making it coherent.
Its 4:30 AM, I’m in Delhi doing post-production for a forthcoming TV series. I’m at my wit’s end and taking a breather, sipping hot water and looking out the window, literally marvelling at how pretty the city looks. Yes, even in the dark. And thinking about myself. Not in that narcissistic way where I look in the mirror and say, “You’re gorgeous, baby!” But more like “where am I at and what next as yet another year comes to an end.” What brings such profound thoughts?
I got a call a few days ago from a good friend who’s a Bollywood scriptwriter in the big league. Now, without naming names, we must understand that there are two big leagues in Bollywood. The Cerebral Big League (No, it doesn’t include The Factory) and The League of Extraordinary Gloss (That which we love to hate but still watch!). Scriptwriter Friend is from the former and has healthy disdain for the latter. Him and I have spent many hours trying to convince each other about our respective leagues. He’d recently watched Dhoom-2 and the call was about that. He laughed as he confessed how he wanted to leave the theatre halfway through the film but stayed back after an interesting thought struck him. The fact that he should watch the second half of the film “completely from Vijayeta’s perspective,” trying to grasp what I would have “loved” about it and why. At which point, with much glee I informed him that I’d absolutely loved the new Don as well. He confessed to being deeply flummoxed and was waiting for me to return to Bombay, when he could ask me a few very basic questions about those films and if convinced, he’d be as big a believer as I am. Hearing that, I was deeply touched and also slightly amused. I ended up laughing and when the conversation ended I didn’t know if I was laughing out of happy amusement or was it the laughter of the hysterically insane. I had a feeling it was the latter.
So here I am right now, thinking about “My Perspective on Films” and how insane it really is. It’s shocking. So here’s where that quote about knowledge breeding taste comes to mind. When you do an MA in Film Studies, you’re subjected to a lot of textbook jargon about the craft of films. Painfully boring books called The Five Cs of Cinematography, Editing Explained, Sound Theory etc comprised a part of the killer syllabus. The other part, and the more interesting one was Film Appreciation which comprised watching up to 4 films a day in a cold auditorium and discussing each film to bits once over. We saw all kinds of films. They were usually divided into sections like Film Noir, French New Wave, Italian Neo- Realism, The Hollywood Classics and so on… Without inviting mainstream Bollywood cinema to the merry little party. Hmpfh!
Our assignments usually involved writing long essays on topics we could choose and some on topics that were thrust upon us by the professors. Those usually sucked and basically had all of us terribly busy and reading up tonnes of books by tonnes of film theorists with strange French names! I gained maximum knowledge and insight, which coupled with an extraordinary ability to faff intelligently became a very potent combination in helping me get good grades. The essays I chose to write were rather kickass and the subjects were: 1. The City as metaphor in Taxi Driver 2. The Emotional Vis-à-vis the Physical transitions in Taxi Driver 3. The Importance of Shadows in Fellini’s cinema. Case in point: La Dolce Vita and Cinema Paradiso. 4. The Child Woman of Ray’s cinema with reference to Charulata and Samapti (from Teen Kanya) 5. Jump Cuts (of the French New Wave) Vs. Sculpting Time (in Tarkovsky’s cinema) as narrative devices.
Phew! I guess I’ve shown off enough! Point is, I did appreciate most of that stuff. I could watch the works of Fellini, Truffaut, Godard and Tarkovsky a number of times. I loved the Noir films by Jules Dassin, Fritz Lang and Billy Wilder from that era and after that Scorsese’s Taxi Driver proved to be eternally fascinating. While the Japanese and Chinese films provided a good reason to doze off somewhere in the last row of the auditorium. Except Rashomon, everything else was beyond me and the Communist cinema from China made me burst into hysterical giggles which I’d a hard time controlling. One film by Ozu began with a whiny little Chinese child singing an extremely annoying song, the subtitles for which were “Hammer and sickle, hammer and sickle…” I had to duck my head to suppress my giggles and when I rose to leave the class pretending to cough madly, the subtitles were something about the Red Army and rice! Instead of returning to class I bunked and went to watch Dil Chahta Hai, first day first show. It seemed like ages when I wasn’t watching a film to write an 8 page essay on it later! I wasn’t looking at edit techniques, mis-en-scene, blocking, influences in narrative style, subtext, visual grammar and more such stuff even though I’m sure there was lots. The romantic in me was up and about and kicking. I was glowing.
After the film studies exam, which was in January 2003, I’ve never watched any of those films again barring La Dolce Vita as a rare impulse. If someone held a gun to my head, I could still discuss them and tell you what was awesome about them, but that’s that. Knowledge had given me the taste and refinement but completely killed pleasure. And what was pleasure?
Pleasure is Bollywood cinema through and through. The lost and found twins, the ichchadhari nagin films, the films of the early 80s with south Indian sensibilities, the disproportionate voluptuousness of Sridevi and Jaya Prada, kickass jhatkas that could be measured on the Richter scale, villains that took the cake in being over the top and the ever so delightful vamps! I mean, the classics and all that are fine, but this is staple, wholesome regular movie fare. Isn’t it? At least I think so.
The irony was that exactly a day after my exams were over, I flew to Bangalore to start my career in the entertainment industry as an assistant director, it was a huge un-learning experience. No one really cared about how many essays you wrote and how innovative you were while making your student film. The entire movie industry is self-obsessed, inane, capricious, cruel, misogynistic and silly. Sometimes the whole thing seems quite ridiculous when you realise you’ve spent the better part of a day trying to get an actress to dance so you can get at least 3 shots right in an entire song! It’s a beast that requires vast amounts of money, time, and skill to get "right.” And for all the blood, sweat and tears it provides only a few brief, shining moments of rightness before becoming completely wrong. Before being written off by pseudo-intellectual, uppity critics or being run over by next week’s bigger blockbuster with hotter item songs. With each new project in the entertainment industry you understand it as the place where you see where you are on the food chain every day - you can’t help it. You see where you are by the work you’re involved in. Who talks to you at parties? Who you talk to at parties? One survival mechanism here is a deliberate un-selfawareness which leads to an inability to be ashamed or embarrassed or humiliated. And the shoots soon become a happy memory shared by all the unit members who really become like family.
Armed with that un-selfawareness and inability to be embarrassed, I will proceed to admit that even years later, I am still entranced by the opening music when the opening credits come on in the dark theatre. I am shamelessly enchanted and mesmerized by all the “entry scenes” of each character no matter how predictable they are. If I walk into a theatre late and miss the ‘hero ki entry’ I feel awful and I sulk at all those responsible for getting me late. I sit grinning happily when two people are falling in love and when their first song comes on. It warms the cockles of my heart to see a lovely looking Kajol dancing happily amidst the pyramids of Egypt wearing lovely saris and SRK in transparent linen shirts. At that time, they are not SRK and Kajol for me. They are Rahul and Anjali from two different socio-economic backgrounds who’re fighting against all odds to be together. I understand the horrible political incorrectness of Kuch Kuch Hota Hai but I love it nonetheless. I wait for the scene where Rahul sees Anjali for the first time after 8 years and when it comes, I’m usually crying happy tears. Oh, before that, when he ignores Anjali for the hotter looking Tina, I’m just short of sobbing hysterically for unrequited love. While watching Krrish, I’m not watching Hrithik. I’m watching the first Indian superhero doing really awesome stuff and beating up all the bad guys. And for the duration of that film, I really am able to believe that he is a superhero and not another actor hooked on to dozens of complicated wires that enable him to fly/run like that. While watching Dil Chahta Hai, I cry for Aamir Khan’s loneliness when he makes that call to his father and reminded me of myself many many years ago when I was in the hostel and made a similar call home. Omkara is Omkara to me and Othello is a distant memory. When he’s killing Dolly with that pillow in the end, my heart aches for her and I wish that somehow, magically he should know what he’s doing is wrong and stop! I also feel bad for being completely unable to stop him myself! Kal Ho Na Ho remains my all-time favourite film and I’ve been ridiculed countless times about it. But I really feel that the title track is one of the best which symbolises the optimism and helplessness of a terminally ill man, yet without being pathetic. And Kuch To Hua Hai is 100% me when I’m in love even before the film came out and I’m already grinning like there’s no tomorrow! One of the most profound moments for me was the screening of Border after its release in a makeshift auditorium for Army officers and jawans in Srinagar. The silence during the film was something else and I saw many, many people crying discreetly during the Sandese Aate Hain song.
I’m aware this already sounds quite insane, but it’s true. Masala movies just transport me totally into their world. At that point, the last thing on my mind is blocking, shot division, mis-en-scene, narrative devices etc etc. For me, its movie magic all the way. And it's because films provide a complete escape. It offers the fantasy of a life that is way beyond the mundane routine we’re bound by, paying our bills, long commutes, meeting deadlines and dealing with a bad PMS! It is pure, airbrushed, and unadulterated gorgeousness, and it provides the promise of something more, something that transcends the everyday grind. It’s the bubble I can build around myself and the world suddenly looks sooo much prettier. It’s clean, exotic and glossy filled with shiny happy people who sing and dance out of pure unadulterated joy. They cry for the sake of love, for the agony and anguish of love and often there’s a sad song to underscore that feeling. Such ability of the characters to totally give in to any emotion and to lose themselves in it with such unselfconsciousness completely feeds the romantic within me. And mind you, the romantic within me IS. A. G-L-U-T-T-O-N!
The romantic in me gives in to emotions at the drop of a hat. I’m very easily moved by a painting, even architectural brilliance, books and songs. And I’m not ashamed to cry. Though the people who accompany me usually are. Not ashamed to cry, but ashamed of having accompanied me. My biggest regret is going to watch Black without carrying a pack of tissues! And if I were to write a comparative essay on anything to do with films right now, I’d probably do it on the best ever “Confession of Love at the airport” scene of all times. Umm, it’s also my biggest romantic fantasy. Every time I take a flight, I can’t help thinking about it. That The One is madly in love with me and realises just about now and I’d be gone for good after this. So he runs wildly on the roads, dodging traffic, hitching rides, panicking and worrying and trying not to cry but keeping in sync with the heart wrenching romantic song playing in the background. He manages to sweet-talk/dodge airport security creates a merry chaos inside while I walk towards the plane completely unaware right till the point the plane’s about to take-off and he shows up and confesses his undying love to me. (If there are any spectators they should be rooting for him to stop the plane in time so he gets The Girl!) And of course we’d live happily ever after!
And while I’m not watching a film currently, it’s three songs to blame. Melissa Etheridge’s I Want To Be In Love and two songs from Salaam-é-Ishq: Dil Kya Kare and the title track, Salaam-é-Ishq which are on repeat play right now. Er, I think I must mention here that I’m not in love with anyone currently and am still single but I want to have all those “madly in love” moments from films to happen to me right now! Films like this are a total guilty pleasure for me. Pleasure as far removed from the trappings of cinematic “knowledge” as possible. Of course it doesn’t mean I’m not aware of the craft and the way complicated shots and stunts are handled. And all that's 100% make believe created by people like us. And it’s pure knowledge that’s making me go into long, self-conscious explanations like these. I mean, if I liked eating dark chocolate, would I care to explain that much? Hell no! But then, I wouldn’t be perceived as a hopeless retard either, right? I mean who in this day and age goes to watch films and gets so carried away just stopping short of believing that the characters were behind the screen and I could reach out to touch them!
Though sometimes I wish I could. Like right now. The horizon’s a foggy blur and it’s an hour before dawn and work is far from over and here I am seeking shelter in my romantic bubble. I’m thinking of Woody Allen’s The Purple Rose of Cairo. At this moment I could be the tired, overworked Cecilia going to the movies to be transported into that glossy world and the high life. And er, while Cecilia had Tom Baxter walking out of the film and falling in love with her, I want (See? It’s ‘knowledge’ that makes me hesitate so much before naming the name! And the fear that I may be disowned by all those who love me. Oh well! Let’s risk it!) The name’s DON. No, not Shah Rukh Khan in his real self. But the character Don. The man I was literally gaping at right from the first scene when he takes that mock bow with the ballet dancers in Paris. Such deadly panache! And the way he looked as he teed off on that awesome course, that easy sex-appeal underscoring his relaxed body language (Which had more to do with the camera’s languid tilt-up shots of him and divine lighting. There! That’s knowledge again!) Basically, it’s everything. And I want that character to step out of the film just like Tom Baxter does, walk up to me and profess undying love and invite me to join him in his life of crazy adventure, fraught with danger and thrill (Er, yes, a lot of it is illegal but then in the film he never gets caught, right?) I even know which scene made me feel that way. While Don was an incredibly polished and cultured character, my jaw dropped when I saw him in that walk-in sort of safe where he went to keep the diskette which has all his vital contacts. I wonder if anyone else noticed Edvard Munch’s famous painting The Scream in the back, kept with the loving care of someone who proudly cherished his art. Not just that, The Scream was stolen in the year 2004 but it was recovered in 2005 making it a year too late for the complete relevance in the film. Anyway, there’s knowledge sneaking up again. Point is, Don obviously loves expensive art. And I’m sure he’d also love having long conversations about post-impressionists and expressionists and also modern artists. Sort of like Bond. I want to be with him in the car during all the car chases. I want to be with him in that HUGE bath tub in that gorgeous spa-like bathroom. I want to pour him champagne while giving sexy come hither looks when he’s looking particularly dapper in those fitted jackets matched with the Tag Heuer watches. I want to dance with him on Khaike Paan Banaras Wala matching him in his energy and steps. And of course, I want to save him from the bad guys (The gyarah mulko ki police!) YES! Duh! If you look at it from ‘our’ perspective (hee hee, that sounded gooood, OUR) those are the bad guys, but then WHY AM I EXPLAINING!? And then after saving him, I would get to hear the ultimate, million dollar line “Don ko pakadna mushkil hi nahin…” And you know what’ll be so cool about it? He’d say it to me! It’d be his original line and (anyone who wants to make any references to the earlier Don is not allowed to speak here!) I’d be over the moon thinking how cool, witty and sexy he is! Like Tom Baxter he can say: I love you. I'm honest, dependable, courageous, romantic, and a great kisser.
And I guess I’ll have no choice but to say, like Cecilia: I just met a wonderful new man. He's fictional but you can't have everything. And the credits will roll as we drive a cool Mercedes convertible into the sunset. (Does this sound like the film in a film theme from the film? Is Knowledge sneaking up again?)
Sigh!
And I know no one’s going to take me seriously after this brutally honest admission and I’m practically inviting trouble from all fronts from all my intelligent, well-informed friends (especially Scriptwriter Friend who's still trying to grasp why I liked KANK!) and Best-est Friend who's totally understanding when I withdraw into my little bubble, holds my hand indulgently and passes on tissues too when i'm crying in the theater over someone else's life!
Phew! I guess I’ve shown off enough! Point is, I did appreciate most of that stuff. I could watch the works of Fellini, Truffaut, Godard and Tarkovsky a number of times. I loved the Noir films by Jules Dassin, Fritz Lang and Billy Wilder from that era and after that Scorsese’s Taxi Driver proved to be eternally fascinating. While the Japanese and Chinese films provided a good reason to doze off somewhere in the last row of the auditorium. Except Rashomon, everything else was beyond me and the Communist cinema from China made me burst into hysterical giggles which I’d a hard time controlling. One film by Ozu began with a whiny little Chinese child singing an extremely annoying song, the subtitles for which were “Hammer and sickle, hammer and sickle…” I had to duck my head to suppress my giggles and when I rose to leave the class pretending to cough madly, the subtitles were something about the Red Army and rice! Instead of returning to class I bunked and went to watch Dil Chahta Hai, first day first show. It seemed like ages when I wasn’t watching a film to write an 8 page essay on it later! I wasn’t looking at edit techniques, mis-en-scene, blocking, influences in narrative style, subtext, visual grammar and more such stuff even though I’m sure there was lots. The romantic in me was up and about and kicking. I was glowing.
After the film studies exam, which was in January 2003, I’ve never watched any of those films again barring La Dolce Vita as a rare impulse. If someone held a gun to my head, I could still discuss them and tell you what was awesome about them, but that’s that. Knowledge had given me the taste and refinement but completely killed pleasure. And what was pleasure?
Pleasure is Bollywood cinema through and through. The lost and found twins, the ichchadhari nagin films, the films of the early 80s with south Indian sensibilities, the disproportionate voluptuousness of Sridevi and Jaya Prada, kickass jhatkas that could be measured on the Richter scale, villains that took the cake in being over the top and the ever so delightful vamps! I mean, the classics and all that are fine, but this is staple, wholesome regular movie fare. Isn’t it? At least I think so.
The irony was that exactly a day after my exams were over, I flew to Bangalore to start my career in the entertainment industry as an assistant director, it was a huge un-learning experience. No one really cared about how many essays you wrote and how innovative you were while making your student film. The entire movie industry is self-obsessed, inane, capricious, cruel, misogynistic and silly. Sometimes the whole thing seems quite ridiculous when you realise you’ve spent the better part of a day trying to get an actress to dance so you can get at least 3 shots right in an entire song! It’s a beast that requires vast amounts of money, time, and skill to get "right.” And for all the blood, sweat and tears it provides only a few brief, shining moments of rightness before becoming completely wrong. Before being written off by pseudo-intellectual, uppity critics or being run over by next week’s bigger blockbuster with hotter item songs. With each new project in the entertainment industry you understand it as the place where you see where you are on the food chain every day - you can’t help it. You see where you are by the work you’re involved in. Who talks to you at parties? Who you talk to at parties? One survival mechanism here is a deliberate un-selfawareness which leads to an inability to be ashamed or embarrassed or humiliated. And the shoots soon become a happy memory shared by all the unit members who really become like family.
Armed with that un-selfawareness and inability to be embarrassed, I will proceed to admit that even years later, I am still entranced by the opening music when the opening credits come on in the dark theatre. I am shamelessly enchanted and mesmerized by all the “entry scenes” of each character no matter how predictable they are. If I walk into a theatre late and miss the ‘hero ki entry’ I feel awful and I sulk at all those responsible for getting me late. I sit grinning happily when two people are falling in love and when their first song comes on. It warms the cockles of my heart to see a lovely looking Kajol dancing happily amidst the pyramids of Egypt wearing lovely saris and SRK in transparent linen shirts. At that time, they are not SRK and Kajol for me. They are Rahul and Anjali from two different socio-economic backgrounds who’re fighting against all odds to be together. I understand the horrible political incorrectness of Kuch Kuch Hota Hai but I love it nonetheless. I wait for the scene where Rahul sees Anjali for the first time after 8 years and when it comes, I’m usually crying happy tears. Oh, before that, when he ignores Anjali for the hotter looking Tina, I’m just short of sobbing hysterically for unrequited love. While watching Krrish, I’m not watching Hrithik. I’m watching the first Indian superhero doing really awesome stuff and beating up all the bad guys. And for the duration of that film, I really am able to believe that he is a superhero and not another actor hooked on to dozens of complicated wires that enable him to fly/run like that. While watching Dil Chahta Hai, I cry for Aamir Khan’s loneliness when he makes that call to his father and reminded me of myself many many years ago when I was in the hostel and made a similar call home. Omkara is Omkara to me and Othello is a distant memory. When he’s killing Dolly with that pillow in the end, my heart aches for her and I wish that somehow, magically he should know what he’s doing is wrong and stop! I also feel bad for being completely unable to stop him myself! Kal Ho Na Ho remains my all-time favourite film and I’ve been ridiculed countless times about it. But I really feel that the title track is one of the best which symbolises the optimism and helplessness of a terminally ill man, yet without being pathetic. And Kuch To Hua Hai is 100% me when I’m in love even before the film came out and I’m already grinning like there’s no tomorrow! One of the most profound moments for me was the screening of Border after its release in a makeshift auditorium for Army officers and jawans in Srinagar. The silence during the film was something else and I saw many, many people crying discreetly during the Sandese Aate Hain song.
I’m aware this already sounds quite insane, but it’s true. Masala movies just transport me totally into their world. At that point, the last thing on my mind is blocking, shot division, mis-en-scene, narrative devices etc etc. For me, its movie magic all the way. And it's because films provide a complete escape. It offers the fantasy of a life that is way beyond the mundane routine we’re bound by, paying our bills, long commutes, meeting deadlines and dealing with a bad PMS! It is pure, airbrushed, and unadulterated gorgeousness, and it provides the promise of something more, something that transcends the everyday grind. It’s the bubble I can build around myself and the world suddenly looks sooo much prettier. It’s clean, exotic and glossy filled with shiny happy people who sing and dance out of pure unadulterated joy. They cry for the sake of love, for the agony and anguish of love and often there’s a sad song to underscore that feeling. Such ability of the characters to totally give in to any emotion and to lose themselves in it with such unselfconsciousness completely feeds the romantic within me. And mind you, the romantic within me IS. A. G-L-U-T-T-O-N!
The romantic in me gives in to emotions at the drop of a hat. I’m very easily moved by a painting, even architectural brilliance, books and songs. And I’m not ashamed to cry. Though the people who accompany me usually are. Not ashamed to cry, but ashamed of having accompanied me. My biggest regret is going to watch Black without carrying a pack of tissues! And if I were to write a comparative essay on anything to do with films right now, I’d probably do it on the best ever “Confession of Love at the airport” scene of all times. Umm, it’s also my biggest romantic fantasy. Every time I take a flight, I can’t help thinking about it. That The One is madly in love with me and realises just about now and I’d be gone for good after this. So he runs wildly on the roads, dodging traffic, hitching rides, panicking and worrying and trying not to cry but keeping in sync with the heart wrenching romantic song playing in the background. He manages to sweet-talk/dodge airport security creates a merry chaos inside while I walk towards the plane completely unaware right till the point the plane’s about to take-off and he shows up and confesses his undying love to me. (If there are any spectators they should be rooting for him to stop the plane in time so he gets The Girl!) And of course we’d live happily ever after!
And while I’m not watching a film currently, it’s three songs to blame. Melissa Etheridge’s I Want To Be In Love and two songs from Salaam-é-Ishq: Dil Kya Kare and the title track, Salaam-é-Ishq which are on repeat play right now. Er, I think I must mention here that I’m not in love with anyone currently and am still single but I want to have all those “madly in love” moments from films to happen to me right now! Films like this are a total guilty pleasure for me. Pleasure as far removed from the trappings of cinematic “knowledge” as possible. Of course it doesn’t mean I’m not aware of the craft and the way complicated shots and stunts are handled. And all that's 100% make believe created by people like us. And it’s pure knowledge that’s making me go into long, self-conscious explanations like these. I mean, if I liked eating dark chocolate, would I care to explain that much? Hell no! But then, I wouldn’t be perceived as a hopeless retard either, right? I mean who in this day and age goes to watch films and gets so carried away just stopping short of believing that the characters were behind the screen and I could reach out to touch them!
Though sometimes I wish I could. Like right now. The horizon’s a foggy blur and it’s an hour before dawn and work is far from over and here I am seeking shelter in my romantic bubble. I’m thinking of Woody Allen’s The Purple Rose of Cairo. At this moment I could be the tired, overworked Cecilia going to the movies to be transported into that glossy world and the high life. And er, while Cecilia had Tom Baxter walking out of the film and falling in love with her, I want (See? It’s ‘knowledge’ that makes me hesitate so much before naming the name! And the fear that I may be disowned by all those who love me. Oh well! Let’s risk it!) The name’s DON. No, not Shah Rukh Khan in his real self. But the character Don. The man I was literally gaping at right from the first scene when he takes that mock bow with the ballet dancers in Paris. Such deadly panache! And the way he looked as he teed off on that awesome course, that easy sex-appeal underscoring his relaxed body language (Which had more to do with the camera’s languid tilt-up shots of him and divine lighting. There! That’s knowledge again!) Basically, it’s everything. And I want that character to step out of the film just like Tom Baxter does, walk up to me and profess undying love and invite me to join him in his life of crazy adventure, fraught with danger and thrill (Er, yes, a lot of it is illegal but then in the film he never gets caught, right?) I even know which scene made me feel that way. While Don was an incredibly polished and cultured character, my jaw dropped when I saw him in that walk-in sort of safe where he went to keep the diskette which has all his vital contacts. I wonder if anyone else noticed Edvard Munch’s famous painting The Scream in the back, kept with the loving care of someone who proudly cherished his art. Not just that, The Scream was stolen in the year 2004 but it was recovered in 2005 making it a year too late for the complete relevance in the film. Anyway, there’s knowledge sneaking up again. Point is, Don obviously loves expensive art. And I’m sure he’d also love having long conversations about post-impressionists and expressionists and also modern artists. Sort of like Bond. I want to be with him in the car during all the car chases. I want to be with him in that HUGE bath tub in that gorgeous spa-like bathroom. I want to pour him champagne while giving sexy come hither looks when he’s looking particularly dapper in those fitted jackets matched with the Tag Heuer watches. I want to dance with him on Khaike Paan Banaras Wala matching him in his energy and steps. And of course, I want to save him from the bad guys (The gyarah mulko ki police!) YES! Duh! If you look at it from ‘our’ perspective (hee hee, that sounded gooood, OUR) those are the bad guys, but then WHY AM I EXPLAINING!? And then after saving him, I would get to hear the ultimate, million dollar line “Don ko pakadna mushkil hi nahin…” And you know what’ll be so cool about it? He’d say it to me! It’d be his original line and (anyone who wants to make any references to the earlier Don is not allowed to speak here!) I’d be over the moon thinking how cool, witty and sexy he is! Like Tom Baxter he can say: I love you. I'm honest, dependable, courageous, romantic, and a great kisser.
And I guess I’ll have no choice but to say, like Cecilia: I just met a wonderful new man. He's fictional but you can't have everything. And the credits will roll as we drive a cool Mercedes convertible into the sunset. (Does this sound like the film in a film theme from the film? Is Knowledge sneaking up again?)
Sigh!
And I know no one’s going to take me seriously after this brutally honest admission and I’m practically inviting trouble from all fronts from all my intelligent, well-informed friends (especially Scriptwriter Friend who's still trying to grasp why I liked KANK!) and Best-est Friend who's totally understanding when I withdraw into my little bubble, holds my hand indulgently and passes on tissues too when i'm crying in the theater over someone else's life!
But then, I’m happy and knowledge would simply burst my sacredly insane pleasure bubble!
Back to work now! It was an all-nighter after all but writing this was such pleasure. If tonight’s work were a film, this post would be the hot item number in it!
:P
(Singing loudly - I Want To Be In Love)
Back to work now! It was an all-nighter after all but writing this was such pleasure. If tonight’s work were a film, this post would be the hot item number in it!
:P
(Singing loudly - I Want To Be In Love)
Labels: Bollywood
posted by Vijayeta | 5:28 pm
49 Comments:
I know. I know. similar thing happened to me when i got into advertising. (we advtg types like to believe our 30 second ads are nothing short of full length feature films and take them very seriously, so no one smirk please.)
you start watching and learning to create award winning stuff that a jury in cannes would like. and suddenly you've lost the ability to appreciate regular everyday paint ads. and then when people around you gush over the sweet granny who wants to make amle ka murabba, you wonder what's wrong with you and why you're not getting it.
what we need is to step back from time to time, regain a "normal" person's perspective and put the pleasure back in our lives!
and hey, i love 'dil kya kare' myself. adnan sami's voice sounds so lovely during these pleasant delhi evenings.
It might well be the title track.lady.It's stuck in my head now.On the loop.
Confession-(like the millions who keep the coffers of movie moghuls overflowing)-I draw in my breath as the lights dim and credits appear.Ditto for the grinning/laughing/crying/wanting those spectacular moments.You put it so fabulously I'd rather not try :)
Oh and I luuuurved Don.
One of my all-time favourite movies is Himmatwala, a film reviled by the more posh set as being crass and vulgar. And yet the slapstick, the melodrama and the jhatkas are blended so effectively and there's never a dull moment.
By the way, do not despair of Japanese cinema yet. A few days ago, I saw an absolutely kickass Japanese film from a series of 5 called the "Yakuza Papers", which is about the adventures of the Japanese equivalent of mafia in post-war Japan.
The films in the series are fast paced, rivetting, and the blood and gore, though present throughout the film is not overwhelmingly nauseating like how I find in Tarantino movies.
Your instructors seem to be very much stuck in the past in the Film Appreciation course. No contemporary Asian cinema? No anime and cartoon films? No post-Communist Eastern European and Balkan filmmaking?
And that item number would have Bips and Yana in it. YUMMY!!! :D
That Girl in Pink:
Stepping back is what most people don't do. Nowadays everyone's too busy trying to be "intelligent" (read: pseudo) to get the really simple things in life. Earlier when our masala films did well, they said that's 'cos the people in the cow belt and backward states went for repeat shows etc. Now when masala films are hits, they say it's 'cos of the NRI audiences. I mean, Helloooo??
And i'm spending these pleasant Delhi evenings holed up in edits at Uday Park and Dil Kya Kare keeps me happily floating about singing it aloud and beaming. For no apparent reason. Just love the music sooo much! :P
Cee:
God bless you, dear girl! :) The world needs more people like us to purge it of the cynics (and those who said they hated Don!) Ha! We're so much happier in life generally, aren't we? :)
Thalassa_Mikra:
I LOVED Himmatwala. And Tohfa. And Mawali. And Nagina ...You get the drift, right! They're such incredible fun!
And yes, my instructors were totally stuck in the past! Even their contemporary cinema was ancient and absolutely pseudo! I dont think anime figures in the syllabus even now. While true to their communist roots, i'm sure the Ozu films still are :P
Will certainly check out the Japanese film you mentioned. I've nothing against them, just a carefully cultivated disdain for all things "intellectual and classic". (God! I never knew I hated my teachers so much :P )
Wishfulthinker:
Or me doing a reasonably good imitation :)
Tsk tsk...you shallow child, you!
Knowledge breeds taste,
Taste kills pleasure
I think it could be Vikram Seth, ' An Equal Music'. At some point Micheal (I think), feels that totally dissecting a musical piece might actually kill your pleasure in listening to it.
whoa! this post is exactly one year old ... where the hell've u been dude?
but good to see you again.
Again I say 'Yaayyy - Vijayeta is back!'
I really enjoyed this post because it reminds me of the way I feel about movies - I want to be knowledgeable about what I see; but I still want to be able to enjoy a movie just because, for whatever zany reason, it strikes a chord.
I never want to turn into a sourpuss critic who hates everything on a technicality.
I still want to feel that thrill I feel when something, even something cheesy, happens on screen to make me go 'aaawwww'. For me, that's the heart of the whole thing.
Oh - and my word verification for this comment is 'ycosfunf'. I've decided that it's shorthand for 'Y do i love bollywood movies? Cos they're fun filled'. (Sorry, I do realise how painfully lame that is.)
I have read approx half...
Came to say, look who's talking!
Oh, of course, how can I leave without saying, The resume is impressive (to say the least ;)
Not in that narcissistic way where I look in the mirror and say, “You’re gorgeous, baby!”
Hmmm...
artful badger:
I checked. It's not Vikram Seth. An Equal Music is one of my most favorite books. Michael says something similar, but it's not those exact lines... :)
Saltwater Blue::
One year??? No... I can't be "quiet" for THAT long :P
Daddy's Girl:
THANKS A TONNE for that shout out :)
And that wasn't lame at all...Bollywood loves acronyms! Why aren't there many people like us, who'd watch a film for the love of it and not sit and ask dumb questions like "Why was the couple suddenly singing songs in Switzerland?" Critics are pathetic, insecure creatures, aren't they? :P
Sanity Starved:
Heyyy! Look who's back from hiding :)
Trust me, being force-fed classics kills, K-I-L-L-S the joy of watching films. To date (and at the risk of sounding unbelievably dumb and stupid) I wish Tarkovsky had put songs in his films I love his films, but Solaris would have been something else with a couple of songs on that space ship. :P
And i say that to myself every morning as a form of self-affirmation, confidence building and feel-good exercise. If you don't believe you're gorgeous, nobody will. Right? :)
I absolutely adore this post, V! :) In a lot of ways, I can relate to it... I never get my own taste in movies as well! There is stuff that I love that most of my friends simply hate and then there's a lot of stuff I hate which .. anyways, you get the drift, right? :)
Whenever I try and cogently put down what sums up my 'taste' in movies, I can only think of one thing to say... If something makes sense to me, in however miniscule a way, I like it! :) Like they say in advertising- Keep it simple, stupid! :)
Great post! :)
I so agree with the knowledge-taste-pleasure thing; which makes you wish that you led a simpler, less exposed life. But then, that has it's advantages as well, I s'pos. As for your perspective on films, Vij, I'd think it's as mature/sane as can be, rather than the opposite. After all, real maturity is about being unselfconsciously comfortable and assured in your own skin and your own considered views, isn't it? And frankly, I don't think there's anything more attractive in another human being than that, as long as it doesn't stray into arrogance. And that should hold good for Indian cinema as well, in a wider sense.
And it's funny that the same people who'd smile indulgently at a blast of Puccini in the climactic scene of, say, 'the Mirror has Two Faces' would cringe at something similar when it happens at the climax of a Hindi movie.
And who gives a shit about what anyone else thinks about your tastes? It's Your Taste, not theirs, hey;-)Nice post.
That talk about the romantic in you being a glutton??? Well join the club missy.
Meetings are at my house on tuesdays.
Hee.
and now I'm going to kill myself for admitting that on a public domain.
*dies*
Ditty:
I've given up trying to defend/explain my taste and love for kitschy, masala Bollywood films. And if someone tries to get all intellectual snob on me and tries to make me feel guilty by talking about those classics and European cinema, i just look at them dumbly and repeat myself asking, "But how can you like a film which doesn't have songs and dances?"
They usually let you be after that! :P
Nevermind:
You're right! Case in point: Superman Returns and Spiderman-2. They were sooo Bollywood in their treatment it was almost as if Javed Akhtar had written the scripts in English and they edited out the songs 'cos the film was becoming too long! It really annoys me when people go on and on about Hollywood and every other cinema in the world while sneering and looking in derision at our desi industry.
So yes, I do feel much better after writing this post 'cos these thoughts had bothered me a LOT since i watched Don. While The Purple Rose of Cairo is as eternally fascinating as ever, Don and my feelings for 'him' just put it all in perspective.
Even though people do stare at me as if I were a freak when I gush like this. I've learnt to wear big shades and look past them snootily and totally ignoring them :P
Megha:
Oh no no! Nothing to "die" about, woman! It's us romantics that make the world go round. Our world! *insert evil laughter*
I'm game for romance and being a romantic anyday than being over-critical, over-analytical and a pseudo-intellectual, any day! :)
Am i killing myself too for admitting that on a public domain? Will the trolls come calling soon...
Yeah, I got a similar response from one of my English grad friends. It's quite a luxury to get the time to read a book decently and I thought she must have loved studing literature. But she too dismissed it saying they had to dissect everything so much it killed the joy of it.
Don was really impressive. I thought they got it right by making a slick production. Though I thought SRK's crew was better dressed.
Do you realize if you like a man like Don in real life, that person will have to carry an entire crew to please you. I guess, it's worth it but then you did know, being an insider. Hmmm... You definitely seem to be enjoying what you are doing :D
I have come up with over three thousand words. It still doesn't beat you :S
darling will get around to reading your post eventually but you gotta stop those stars!!
darling will get around to reading your post eventually but you gotta stop those stars!!
I loved Don and I am not able to get past people who did not or the critics who complained for no reason. So reading your post was a relief.
I enjoyed Dhoom 2 too. With Hrithik looking like he did, whats there to not like. No Story? Go read a book!
I noticed "The Scream".. I pointed at "the scream".. I saw blank faces .. so my hands went back to the aisle...
:( Take me for a film please...
So back in Mumbai?
Hmm..I read your post so intently. You write well ...and long.
But you know, you are The Factory type thinker and those are the kind of movies you'll end up making, if you ever wanted to, what is achievable is psuedo, what is beyond us...is brilliant...obviously. The Cerebral and the Shahrukh Khan types both appeal to you, I am sure.
Also, there is one more thing you forgot...that's habit...the more you see a particular type of movies, the more your emotional system gets immune to them.
Sanity Starved:
Crew? What crew? How can you even notice anything else but Don when you look at the screen? :P
Hedonistic Hobo:
:)
ac:
Exactly! I loved Dhoom-2 and watched it twice :P When every frame in the film is filled with gorgeous people doing awesome stunts or generally prancing about in pretty locales...who the hell gives a damn about story as long as you're having fun watching it?!
Thanks for liking the post :)
kd:
Duuude you rock!! You're just the third person I know who noticed the painting in the film :) Just makes Don that much more sexier, doesnt it?
I'm back in Bombay and will definitely take you for a film when you're here! :)
Umi b:
Thanks for reading :) And no, NO i'm not "The Factory type thinker" at all. Those words make me shudder. It's an ideological issue. I think it's much easier (technically) making a Sarkar than a KANK or Don. I'm all for gloss. Like, G-L-O-S-S!! Larger than life, end of movie airport 'confession of love' scene and lots of cute cheesy stuff which is comfort food for the heart.
I'm glad i'm not that jaded yet to get immune to stuff like this.
And I thought I read you WERE jaded writing essays on Taxi Driver or whatever it is that you wrote in your education and dearly missed Hindi Cinema that you were brought up watching. It's called Homesickness.
I saw Nach Baliye 2 this year like I would watch Indi-Paki cricket match, gasping, feeling, and deliberately ignoring the marketing tack they had on - the whole time. And I think Tanaaz and Bakhtiyaar were the real winners. Last year, I wouldn't hear of "shows like that" What happened here?
Anyways, nice to read your blog. I am going to be a regular here. This network that you have, along with other bloggers like That Girl In Pink who writes effortlessly has made me take Indian bloggers more seriously. Strange, most A-class bloggers in India are women. Men like me satisfy themselves with collecting pics of semi-nude or clad women! Kidding!
hey, extremely nice read and about time too!
I share ur disdain for the pseudo-intellectuals who find most hindi movies meaningless (though i myself somtimes feel that some cud be better executed). especially when the same pseudos can't enjoy a movie like Dor becoz it is "too slow".
I'd still like to see wat u think about Dhoom2 though...
very nice post. Reminds me of my times when I was young! Now I enjoy each and everything. No choices. Life's sobered me up.
*PROD*
ha ha ha ha ok! you covered your ass well at 4:30 in the morning by quoting all the films that appeal to your heart and to your head. loved that loooooooong confession. while you were doing those essays on intelligent cinema...er... i must admit i did a study on 'bobby' and 'aashiqui' in a fairly serious class on film criticism. reading this has been great fun.and ya! godard and mithun-da can exist on the same page. ha ha
;)
Vij! You forgot to take a bow at the end!!!
spoken/written like a true movie buff. And since you so like the ichadhari naagin movies of the 80s, I'd wish upon you a life without a set top box where you're forced to watch this free-to-air movie channel airing ALL those movies in no particular order:-D I already feel like Homer Simpson now after 14 days of it.
BTW, I'd like to hear from you if you disliked ANY movie?
Seen Guru? I liked it!
Did you go to Mayo by any chance?
:)
hello! i thought you were posting something new!!
Wow, that was a long post!! I read all but parts about the new Don and Omkara as I haven't seen them yet.
I am glad you found my blog. Thanks for stopping by!
I have been working on two film scripts off and on for about two years (this is not my day job, so it's taking longer than I had hoped...). The one script I spend most of my time on is hopefully something your Screenwriter Friend would appreciate. The other is for hopeless romantics like you (and me)!
...And yes, I imagine SRK dancing in the latter film!
Hope you caught the Bigg Boss finale on TV. And it's been ages since your last post. Me still hooked on to Big Brother. Only one more day to go.
I missed the final episode of big boss.. wondering when it would be retelecasted.
vasu
i remember reading somewhere that u planned to be more blog active in 07
what happened
?????????????
please write
and happy 07
Outstanding and incredible blog.
For a long time I haven't come across a blog which is so colorful and exciting as this. I know I am late but better late than never.
Great work and keep it up.
And I thought I was passionate about movies!!
Can't quite identify with your thoughts about Chinese movies though! I must admit my tryst with Chinese cinema is rather brief...but whatever I've watched has been quite awesome, including the last movie I watched a weeks back...Curse of The Golden Flower starring Gong Li and Chow Yun Fat.
dont think u write on this blog anymore
pitty- the blog design is brilliant !
Hey Vijayeta,
Visiting after ages. Love the new (?) layout, très Bollywood. Your writing remains superb as ever.
Warm hugs coming your way from Marseille...
WR
Update or death. You take your pick.
where art thou ?
vasu
where r u
have u moved ?
I know you're alive. I also know you're terribly busy. BUT POST ALREADY!!!!!
Nice writings
www.veds70mm.com
I muddled through the meandering rant. I am intrigued that someone:
1. Can sit through over-rated Satyajit Ray stinkers but find "giggles" in Japanese and Chinese films from a similar era, of similar texture, but different themes.
2. Has SRK, especially in Don and KANK, make her be in love, and find him full
of "deadly panache".
3. Find Bollywood to be full of pure pleasure. Compared to, cough cough, Fellini and such.
Tell you what. Someone needs to step out of her little shell and get a trip or two to other places. Bollywood, with all its childish idiocy, has "global" relevance mostly among the Indian community that is outside of India -- the big "crossover cinema" NRI target.
Beyond that, no one gives a stinking
rat's ass for the cavorting extras from Bollywood -- not beyond a couple of movies anyway.
Chinese and Japanese films have made themselves relevant with much more intelligent cinema than sorry misses such as KANK. Heck, even small European countries are coming out with fantastic cinema, as enjoyable as it is intelligent and different.
I have no issues with the theme of KANK, but I was put off by the frivolity of how they have handled the relationships and each character's handling of his/her conditions.
Even our own older cinema -- Ijaazat, Silsila, Kabhi Kabhi, and so on -- managed to do a fascinating, moving, job of essentially the same theme. Hop over to Amazon and read a funny review around the idea of "quadrilaterals".
If you have spent some time on a film course, perhaps you need to broaden your diet of global *contemporary* cinema, not just philistine fare from yesteryears. Not simply Hollywood, even Latin America, Poland, Korea, Thailand...the list is long...are experimenting with fascinating themes while we're still busy with who-loves-who-and-who-not from different angles. This is why films such as Khosla Ka Ghosla need to get more coverage.
http://chicklitindia.blogspot.com/2007/07/mmmuuaah-5.html
do respond thru post/comment.
We really love your blog, i haven't seen you keeping the posts in in some time now. Is everything ok. You can reach me here = website traffic@simply pet supplies.com. Thanks Again Rob Dog Crates, Dog Toys ( Dog Supplies & Cat Supplies Pet Store, Dog Collars)
You have a very good blog that the main thing a lot of interesting and beautiful! hope u go for this website to increase visitor.
Post a Comment
<< Home