Hopeful Peddlers and All Stars (Fable - Pt. 7)
What do smart girls do when they’ve to wake up early in the morning and they’ve to party the night before? They set the alarm much in advance, should they forget later.
And that’s exactly what That Woman did. The alarm goes off at 7AM and she’s out of bed by 7:15. And then, horror of horrors, she sees a man. And then it all comes back.
Last night. Cocktails at an art gallery. Toasting a new, young artist. Alcohol, art, artist. Quick repartee and interesting conversation. More alcohol, art, artist. Discussion on films. Even more alcohol…artist. Then: Blur, blur, blur! Now: Home, bed, artist in it.
“Oh dear!” That Woman’s immediate reaction. Trying not to make too much noise, she goes about getting ready for an early morning shoot. And just as she was about to step out, Cute Artist wakes up.
“Heyyy…” he mumbles, looking surprised, looking cute.
“I’ve to go, baby. …Call me sometime!” and she’s out of the door.
He did call. A week later. Dinner, alcohol, a shared joint, home, bed. And the morning after she woke up before him and left for work.
He called her again that evening peddling a relationship.
(Warning: In this space and in our world, a LOT of people do a lot of things. We shall not be judgmental about them. Especially the women. Yes, it’s true. Sometimes women want to have just sex. No conversations. No commitments.)
“Honey, if I wanted to have an affair with you, it would have to last a long time. I don’t want a fling.”
“Oh!” she’s confused. “Ok. If that’s what you want…” More decisive now. “Take care. Bye.”
“Why do you want a fling when I’m ready to commit?” Cute Artist said.
“Well… simply because I don’t want commitment. A fling is just what I want right now,” she replied honestly.
“To begin with?” He asked…hopefully.
“No. There’s no beginning or whatever. It’s no-strings-attached or nothing!”
“Well…”
“Well…what?” she’s irritated.
“Well… It’s not right!” He would finally blurt out.
“Why not?”
“Well…how can it be? Just sex, no…no…emotions?”
“Yes.”
“Nooo… I mean…why would you want that?” his lame attempt at reasoning.
“And why can’t I? …Men do that kind of stuff! I’m at least being honest and telling you outright instead of just plain cheating!”
“What about love?”
“I don’t love you.”
End of discussion. This is where That Woman hangs up leaving him wondering…
Why are men peddling relationships? And why can’t women have sex like a man? An interesting topic for conversation at a weekend party in the suburbs.
“And you didn’t feel a thing?” asked P.
“None whatsoever!” That Woman answered.
“I know what you mean,” this was S, close girlfriend and kickass journalist. She currently liked two men. Hot Guy for his body and prowess in bed. Smart Guy for his conversations. Her woes began when Hot Guy started wanting conversations and Smart Guy wanted sex. “I really don’t know what to do? Hot Guy wants to go for dinner and that entire talking bit and I’m like, let’s take a rain check, sweetie, I’m at work, while I’m actually out with Smart Guy having dinner. And after dinner, Smart Guy wants me to come over to his place and I tell him, not tonight, sweetie, have an extremely early morning tomorrow.”
“I think gay men have it all figured,” P added. “I just walk up to the guy I fancy and tell him I want sex and no relationship. And more often than not, I score! But I also back off when someone wants a relationship. But they don’t come peddling!”
“Exactly!” That Woman agreed. “There’s a thin dividing line between attraction and repulsion. And repulsion starts when they begin wanting to have deep, meaningful conversations with you. Instead of just sex.”
What IS with men today? Gone are the days when you could have a wonderful no-strings-attached without having the guy “peddle” himself as a prospective boyfriend/soul mate/husband to you. Not only is it downright annoying, it’s also kind of embarrassing to see a man whine before you. Another interesting point to note – the peddling doesn’t start as whining. It starts in a very holier-than-thou way.
“And then they go about calling you an absolute total bitch!” S added disdainfully.
“But you’ve GOT to be an absolute total bitch if you’re doing that kind of thing!” P showed solidarity and suddenly he grinned looking at someone. “Guess who’s here!”
“Do we know you?” That Woman smiled saucily.
That Man took out the cigar from his mouth, looked away to flick the ash and smiled, “No. We’re just strangers in the night, exchanging glances!”
“What fun!” she said wryly.
“So, why’re you being an absolute total bitch?” He looked highly interested.
“Same reason why men are absolute total bastards when you want to have a relationship with them and they just want sex!” That Woman stated plainly.
“Ah! I see. So who do you want to have a relationship with?” He asked.
“I don’t. I just want to have sex. The way men do.” She replied standing straighter and chin up.
“So you ARE an absolute total bitch!” He laughed, rather amused. Raised his glass to her too. She smiled. “This is a real question for single, independent women these days, though!” He added.
And he was right. And he was also one of the few, rare men who knew what exactly was happening to the women. And why? For the first time in India’s history, a large number of women in their mid-twenties and onwards have as much money and power as men – or at least enough to feel like they don’t need a man, except for sex. And its become easier for single women to adopt babies too. And yes, this paradox is the topic of many an analytic hour till That Woman tried it out herself. Giving up on relationships, as it were, and throttling up on power, in order to find contentment. And as we’ll see, it worked. Sort of.
“You agree with it, then?” asked S.
“Of course. It’s only fair. Men have done it all their lives. Some still do. And almost all men have promised a relationship in order to get easy sex at some point or other in their lives. And almost all men, at some point, have opted out of a relationship stating commitment phobia as a valid, acceptable reason! It’s only fair if women do that now.”
“Then why do men come peddling relationships now?” She asked.
“Well...it’s just Step One in a turf war,” he replied. “No one likes it when women do things like this. We come from the caves. Remember?” He snapped his fingers in front of her eyes and walked away to the karaoke station puffing at his cigar.
“Yes,” P agreed. “Soon you’ll have men on all those Tele Shopping Ads peddling relationships. And sneakers hanging from lampposts will no longer be a code for ‘Crack Available’. The man will be pushing himself.”
She laughed out loud. Throwing her head back. “I’m loving it!” she said smugly.
“What?” S asked.
“You know that phase when you’re horribly broke and there’s this great party you’ve been invited to. So you go and blow up a huge chunk of your last money buying a sexy new pair of sandals. You go to the party and you have the rocking-est time you’ve had in weeks. Suddenly everything looks better. And all your pending cheques arrive the following week?” That Woman looked really excited.
“Of course I know!” S laughed.
“It’s that joyful confidence that fascinates men. They don’t know whether to love you or hate you!”
It hadn’t been easy for women to get to this point. And that’s why they’re tough as nails, proud and smug. This place of complete independence where we had the luxury of treating men like sex objects. It had taken hard work, loneliness, a series of heartbreaks when you’re younger and a believer, men who’ve used you, men who’ve never cared, men who’ve cheated on you, men who’ve not committed when you wanted them to…till the realization that you’ve to put an end to it. There might never be anyone there for you and you had to take care of yourself in every sense of the word. And a man’s presence is not what gives meaning and substance to your life! They don’t want to have a relationship, but as soon as you only want them for sex, they don’t like it. That’s when they call you an absolute total bitch!
“After a while, you don’t even want to have feelings anymore. You just want to get on with your life!” said S. “Women have wasted a lot of time earlier over men… but not anymore!”
“I agree,” That Woman said. “Cute Artist was great in bed. My work’s going great. I still hang out with you guys. A large thick chocolate shake with large fries takes care of odd cravings and shopping helps mood swings!”
“Oh, totally!” P agreed. “Your cravings for salt, sugar, hot, cold junk food taken care of in one cool meal. Followed by shopping. Even sex is never that good!”
“You need to sleep with someone new!” That Woman advised.
“So do you!” he retorted.
Suddenly there was music!
Somebody once told me
The world is gonna roll me
I ain’t the sharpest tool in the shed
She was lookin’ kind of dumb
With her finger and her thumb
In the shape of an L on her forehead
That Man was singing an incredibly inspirational song in an incredible voice. P, S, That Woman whistled. And joined him for the chorus. This was her song tonight.
Hey now you’re an All Star, get your game on go play.
Hey now you’re a rock star get your show on get paid.
That Woman was walking down the stairs. “Are the shoes hurting you?” That Man actually noticed. “They’re a size smaller,” she admitted sheepishly. “But I LOVE them!”
“They’re gorgeous. Can I take them for a drink?”
They went to That Man’s place. He opened a bottle of wine and they watched Shrek 1 & 2 on his famous Bang & Olufsen home theater system. They sang all the songs aloud. Twice. Ate a lot of salty popcorn, smoked weed and then she said, “I have to go.”
“Its 4 in the morning. I’m not going to let you go home now,” he stated.
“I’ve an early day,” she told him.
“So do I.”
He gave her a T-shirt and boxer shorts and went into the bathroom while she changed. She got into the bed. He had down pillows which she always associated with all the happy memories she had. And they were extremely comfortable.
When That Man came back into the room, she was sound asleep. Her cell phone beside her pillow. Due to ring in 4 hours.
And that’s exactly what That Woman did. The alarm goes off at 7AM and she’s out of bed by 7:15. And then, horror of horrors, she sees a man. And then it all comes back.
Last night. Cocktails at an art gallery. Toasting a new, young artist. Alcohol, art, artist. Quick repartee and interesting conversation. More alcohol, art, artist. Discussion on films. Even more alcohol…artist. Then: Blur, blur, blur! Now: Home, bed, artist in it.
“Oh dear!” That Woman’s immediate reaction. Trying not to make too much noise, she goes about getting ready for an early morning shoot. And just as she was about to step out, Cute Artist wakes up.
“Heyyy…” he mumbles, looking surprised, looking cute.
“I’ve to go, baby. …Call me sometime!” and she’s out of the door.
He did call. A week later. Dinner, alcohol, a shared joint, home, bed. And the morning after she woke up before him and left for work.
He called her again that evening peddling a relationship.
(Warning: In this space and in our world, a LOT of people do a lot of things. We shall not be judgmental about them. Especially the women. Yes, it’s true. Sometimes women want to have just sex. No conversations. No commitments.)
“Honey, if I wanted to have an affair with you, it would have to last a long time. I don’t want a fling.”
“Oh!” she’s confused. “Ok. If that’s what you want…” More decisive now. “Take care. Bye.”
“Why do you want a fling when I’m ready to commit?” Cute Artist said.
“Well… simply because I don’t want commitment. A fling is just what I want right now,” she replied honestly.
“To begin with?” He asked…hopefully.
“No. There’s no beginning or whatever. It’s no-strings-attached or nothing!”
“Well…”
“Well…what?” she’s irritated.
“Well… It’s not right!” He would finally blurt out.
“Why not?”
“Well…how can it be? Just sex, no…no…emotions?”
“Yes.”
“Nooo… I mean…why would you want that?” his lame attempt at reasoning.
“And why can’t I? …Men do that kind of stuff! I’m at least being honest and telling you outright instead of just plain cheating!”
“What about love?”
“I don’t love you.”
End of discussion. This is where That Woman hangs up leaving him wondering…
Why are men peddling relationships? And why can’t women have sex like a man? An interesting topic for conversation at a weekend party in the suburbs.
“And you didn’t feel a thing?” asked P.
“None whatsoever!” That Woman answered.
“I know what you mean,” this was S, close girlfriend and kickass journalist. She currently liked two men. Hot Guy for his body and prowess in bed. Smart Guy for his conversations. Her woes began when Hot Guy started wanting conversations and Smart Guy wanted sex. “I really don’t know what to do? Hot Guy wants to go for dinner and that entire talking bit and I’m like, let’s take a rain check, sweetie, I’m at work, while I’m actually out with Smart Guy having dinner. And after dinner, Smart Guy wants me to come over to his place and I tell him, not tonight, sweetie, have an extremely early morning tomorrow.”
“I think gay men have it all figured,” P added. “I just walk up to the guy I fancy and tell him I want sex and no relationship. And more often than not, I score! But I also back off when someone wants a relationship. But they don’t come peddling!”
“Exactly!” That Woman agreed. “There’s a thin dividing line between attraction and repulsion. And repulsion starts when they begin wanting to have deep, meaningful conversations with you. Instead of just sex.”
What IS with men today? Gone are the days when you could have a wonderful no-strings-attached without having the guy “peddle” himself as a prospective boyfriend/soul mate/husband to you. Not only is it downright annoying, it’s also kind of embarrassing to see a man whine before you. Another interesting point to note – the peddling doesn’t start as whining. It starts in a very holier-than-thou way.
“And then they go about calling you an absolute total bitch!” S added disdainfully.
“But you’ve GOT to be an absolute total bitch if you’re doing that kind of thing!” P showed solidarity and suddenly he grinned looking at someone. “Guess who’s here!”
“Do we know you?” That Woman smiled saucily.
That Man took out the cigar from his mouth, looked away to flick the ash and smiled, “No. We’re just strangers in the night, exchanging glances!”
“What fun!” she said wryly.
“So, why’re you being an absolute total bitch?” He looked highly interested.
“Same reason why men are absolute total bastards when you want to have a relationship with them and they just want sex!” That Woman stated plainly.
“Ah! I see. So who do you want to have a relationship with?” He asked.
“I don’t. I just want to have sex. The way men do.” She replied standing straighter and chin up.
“So you ARE an absolute total bitch!” He laughed, rather amused. Raised his glass to her too. She smiled. “This is a real question for single, independent women these days, though!” He added.
And he was right. And he was also one of the few, rare men who knew what exactly was happening to the women. And why? For the first time in India’s history, a large number of women in their mid-twenties and onwards have as much money and power as men – or at least enough to feel like they don’t need a man, except for sex. And its become easier for single women to adopt babies too. And yes, this paradox is the topic of many an analytic hour till That Woman tried it out herself. Giving up on relationships, as it were, and throttling up on power, in order to find contentment. And as we’ll see, it worked. Sort of.
“You agree with it, then?” asked S.
“Of course. It’s only fair. Men have done it all their lives. Some still do. And almost all men have promised a relationship in order to get easy sex at some point or other in their lives. And almost all men, at some point, have opted out of a relationship stating commitment phobia as a valid, acceptable reason! It’s only fair if women do that now.”
“Then why do men come peddling relationships now?” She asked.
“Well...it’s just Step One in a turf war,” he replied. “No one likes it when women do things like this. We come from the caves. Remember?” He snapped his fingers in front of her eyes and walked away to the karaoke station puffing at his cigar.
“Yes,” P agreed. “Soon you’ll have men on all those Tele Shopping Ads peddling relationships. And sneakers hanging from lampposts will no longer be a code for ‘Crack Available’. The man will be pushing himself.”
She laughed out loud. Throwing her head back. “I’m loving it!” she said smugly.
“What?” S asked.
“You know that phase when you’re horribly broke and there’s this great party you’ve been invited to. So you go and blow up a huge chunk of your last money buying a sexy new pair of sandals. You go to the party and you have the rocking-est time you’ve had in weeks. Suddenly everything looks better. And all your pending cheques arrive the following week?” That Woman looked really excited.
“Of course I know!” S laughed.
“It’s that joyful confidence that fascinates men. They don’t know whether to love you or hate you!”
It hadn’t been easy for women to get to this point. And that’s why they’re tough as nails, proud and smug. This place of complete independence where we had the luxury of treating men like sex objects. It had taken hard work, loneliness, a series of heartbreaks when you’re younger and a believer, men who’ve used you, men who’ve never cared, men who’ve cheated on you, men who’ve not committed when you wanted them to…till the realization that you’ve to put an end to it. There might never be anyone there for you and you had to take care of yourself in every sense of the word. And a man’s presence is not what gives meaning and substance to your life! They don’t want to have a relationship, but as soon as you only want them for sex, they don’t like it. That’s when they call you an absolute total bitch!
“After a while, you don’t even want to have feelings anymore. You just want to get on with your life!” said S. “Women have wasted a lot of time earlier over men… but not anymore!”
“I agree,” That Woman said. “Cute Artist was great in bed. My work’s going great. I still hang out with you guys. A large thick chocolate shake with large fries takes care of odd cravings and shopping helps mood swings!”
“Oh, totally!” P agreed. “Your cravings for salt, sugar, hot, cold junk food taken care of in one cool meal. Followed by shopping. Even sex is never that good!”
“You need to sleep with someone new!” That Woman advised.
“So do you!” he retorted.
Suddenly there was music!
Somebody once told me
The world is gonna roll me
I ain’t the sharpest tool in the shed
She was lookin’ kind of dumb
With her finger and her thumb
In the shape of an L on her forehead
That Man was singing an incredibly inspirational song in an incredible voice. P, S, That Woman whistled. And joined him for the chorus. This was her song tonight.
Hey now you’re an All Star, get your game on go play.
Hey now you’re a rock star get your show on get paid.
That Woman was walking down the stairs. “Are the shoes hurting you?” That Man actually noticed. “They’re a size smaller,” she admitted sheepishly. “But I LOVE them!”
“They’re gorgeous. Can I take them for a drink?”
They went to That Man’s place. He opened a bottle of wine and they watched Shrek 1 & 2 on his famous Bang & Olufsen home theater system. They sang all the songs aloud. Twice. Ate a lot of salty popcorn, smoked weed and then she said, “I have to go.”
“Its 4 in the morning. I’m not going to let you go home now,” he stated.
“I’ve an early day,” she told him.
“So do I.”
He gave her a T-shirt and boxer shorts and went into the bathroom while she changed. She got into the bed. He had down pillows which she always associated with all the happy memories she had. And they were extremely comfortable.
When That Man came back into the room, she was sound asleep. Her cell phone beside her pillow. Due to ring in 4 hours.
posted by Vijayeta | 4:16 PM
70 Comments:
I need to meet all your friends. You guys have such awesome parties. The ones I go to we just bitch about men who need to pee immediately after sex.
P.S. Is P. hot, single, intelligent and available? Or is that just me?
babe..i'll start with belated happy b'day to you as well...well life seems to have gifted you something invaluable this year - namely- clarity of thought, courage and the guts to hold your ground. There was one man 2 thousand years ago, who got crucified for the same. You rock girl..you sooo do...i'll take a few more years to come out of my cave..but u're definitely an inspiration!!
Love your sense of humour..and the way events play out in your head. Life can never get dull that way.
Hey V! Somewhere in your blog i read you were a film-maker. Well, you're also an awesome script writer and i think it's time for india to experience our vey own sex & the city. Myabe 'sex & ethnicity'? You of course wil play THAT WOMAN & i'm sure you can arrange for actors for the other parts too. Don't forget to give me a cameo.
Fun post!
P.S. Who the hell is "yours truly...conman"??
Can I play the bitchy cynical straight gay man?
I WANT to be bitchy. Honestly, the dudes in India need someone to bitch about them..
(Pet peeve #23: Peeing RIGHT AFTER sex)
hmm.. beyond the topping of humour this is a really tough issue.. been grappling with it for a while now and can't seem to make any sense of it.
I don't think the demarcations between the genders is going to last for more than another 50 odd years. Even now it is still more or less of a legacy application in the urban areas, eventually it will just be people, couples etc.
Same is more or less the case of marriages, relationships etc, for the plain and simple reason that we just don't have much time for it any case, mainly because technology has enabled things to be much easier. you can write, direct, compose music, cook, travel etc with a considerably lower entry barrier than what it used to be some 10 years back, creating a situation where "things to do" is a long column even for average people. Most people just do not have the time for the trappings of a relationship, even now it is like a splash and dash pit stop in F1.
Either way, stable or flingy, there is not much joy, what are we going to do?
ah, so you're a scriptwriter! :-)
im reading a blog on the non-committal theme after quite a long time, so its quite different and fresh from the periodic mush that my Blogline and the 26 blog feeds subscribed there flashes to me. nice story, btw.
this blog/[biog? :-D] reminded me of the bhumika chawla-rahul bose saga from 'Silsilay' (a somewhat pro-feminist movie made by the dude who made Fiza) a bit. Of course the polots differ - in the movie Bhumika and Rahul are ex-lovers who break up, yet come back together one last time to profess love to each other, and do the lovemaking act that gets bhumika chawla her son (she wanted to have one as a single mother) - all of this in an uncommitted millieu, and understanding. After that, they go their separate ways, though i think the end suggested that they would have gotten back eventually.
the font of your blog..aargh. :(
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Hmmm...
Looks like 'independence' is a never-ending series of casual lays and witty repartees...for either sex.
Life long?
Hmmm.. Shocked at "That woman's lack of emotion" I thought that was our department.
What is it with women.. when you dont want commmitment, they need one. And when you want one, they dont want it.
There should be some kinda tattooing.. one for the woman who will commit, and another for the one who wont!
The post didn't fail to make me laugh though.
------------------------
PS: Where are all these parties..? and are all "that women" journalists? :D
Vik: U shall meet them soon. And yes, you ARE hot, single, intelligent and available. And you'll figure over here soon ;)Agree with pet peeve 23! Of course u can be bitchy. Its the only way to be!
Michael: Thanks :D Though the comparison to christ is a bit...scary :p And its not difficult coming out of the cave. Just keep your eyes open!
Girl in Pink: Sex n Ethnicity...not bad at all! Yours truly...conman? No clue. But thanks for yr comment. I look forward to it, u know :)
Shyam: U're so right. There's so much to do and so little time. Relationships have gone out of the window till u suddenly one day discover someone who's really been rt there while u were with the wrong ppl ;)
Morpheus: I dont like Khalid Mohammed's style of filmmaking. Or writing, for that matter! I'm a filmmaker more than a scriptwriter :)And if i increase the font size, my verbosity wont be concealed anymore ;)
Willothewisp: Not life long...but as long as it takes to find THE ONE. Till then...this is how it is, in a world of fleeting attention spans and a shyam said, "A lot to do!"
KD: It's NOT lack of emotion. Look at it like this...if you want to have a chicken burger, would u think it necessary to have a relationship with the chicken? Before or ...after? It sounds warped, but this is the best i could come up with right now ;)
If men have a right to it, so do women!Its not abt not wanting to commit. Its about finding the right person to commit to! And no, THOSE WOMEN are not always journos etc, but most of my friends are from this industry. So... And the parties? Well, they happen too sometimes, in various odd places...
The trouble with honesty is, dearie, that there are very few who can digest it! Especially when it comes from a woman and the suuposed taker is well, a guy who's never had it before.
I SO know what you mean!
when was your birthday? how come i didn't know? and of course you wouldn't have a relationship with a chickenburger, they're yuck ... nothing like a good, meaty, slab of beef between buns (do i sound gay? sorry, i'm not)
"For the first time in India’s history, a large number of women in their mid-twenties and onwards have as much money and power as men – or at least enough to feel like they don’t need a man, except for sex"
- I know about that...trouble began when i started asking for a brand new car as a gift!!
whats the big deal about a fling?
:-?
i liked the part abt S with her Hot/Smart guys...she sure is smart!
beautiful! was fun reading it ... lookin forward to more!!
comparison with christ was not the intention...he's more of an example of independent thinking.
"It had taken hard work, loneliness, a series of heartbreaks when you’re younger and a believer, men who’ve used you, men who’ve never cared, men who’ve cheated on you, men who’ve not committed when you wanted them to…till the realization that you’ve to put an end to it. There might never be anyone there for you and you had to take care of yourself in every sense of the word. And a man’s presence is not what gives meaning and substance to your life!"
Is what I have been ranting about endlessly over many girls' night outs! :) Men had better shape up in every which way.. else, they'll rapidly becoming redundant for women like THAT WOMAN and she is no longer a minority! :)
Rock on, V! :)
Whoa!
rr is HOT!
*stares at picture*
haha...I think That Woman and That Man are going to have Those Children sometime soon now!!!
:-PPPPPPPP
yeah...most men do get indignant and all self-righteous if they're treated as sex objects...and suddenly start peddling themselves as being better than just that...
:-)
Shilpa: Yes. And as they say, first times are usually difficult. The Guy takes ages to nurse his bruised ego or whatever!
VG: A car? Hmmm...
Poison: Exactly! What's the big deal abt a fling! As for S, i'll tell her what u think. She's got the best thing going for her, dude!
RR: Thanks :)
Michael: Big hug. Thanks :p
Ditty: Join the club! THAT WOMAN really is no minority any longer.
Vikram: Helllo Engineer (that song sagar sang) Don't drool!
Pranav: Those Children? God forbid! And Moral of the Story, sex is not always for procreation. Besides, That Woman didnt have sex with That Man :)
But yes, men getting self-righteous and indignant. Have you ever crushed a coke can hard and felt extremely satisfied and felt all yr stress go? I feel like that for men like that :-/
hehe...of course TW and TM havent had sex...yet...:-P
the way they're going, it wont be long before a few big Os happen...:-P...TM almost sounds like one of the Jackie Collins characters now...wont be long before he does some more than just sleep...:-P
coke can...hmmm....I'll try that out...I've done it with mineral water bottles...makes a lot of noise but always worth it...;-)
but beefburgers still rule, chicken burgers suck :P
I think velvet Gunther means to say "Meat between buns rules, things that smell like plucked chicken? Not so much".
things that smell like plucked chicken? me and a friend call that fruit salad with cream...OK, make that a beefburger and fruit salad with cream please...and Vee's so gonna remove this comment
VG and Vik: No, i wont remove it. I want to see where all this is headed. I'm quite amused... ;)
hehehe... this read just like a great chapter in a great book,.. u know, one of those lovely frothy ones u need to read between Midnights Children and Delhi...?
;-)
was also like a fun sequence in a chick flick..;-) either way, i'm happy.
Hi Vijayeta, Thanks for visiting my blog (I don't know why I have the weird feeling that I've written this before on your blog......never mind).
Very interesting post. But honestly That Woman, or any woman for that matter does not need to create a premise to enjoy sex for its own sake. I mean regardless of whether she's been cheated on, used, etc., she can still want no-strings attached sex.
What the man wants is really his own business.
"And why can’t I? …Men do that kind of stuff! I’m at least being honest and telling you outright instead of just plain cheating!”.. .. i was waitin for someone to say this..good that u did.
why do u' ve to wait for "men" to do it??? i mean tomorrow will u start raping us and then claim u re bold.. ??? and latitude to speak out is often misinterpreted as a platform to discuss sex.. every article, evry magazine which post abt a "bold" women has only to speak on her sexuality and sexual choices.. sex or the number of times u had it, doesn make a woman ( or a man ) bold...its no big deal to ve sex...but it just shows that how inconsistent they are. why are we hyping this stuff so much?? why dont women address women's real issues...why cant u all behave like barkha dutt and stop behaving like pooja bedi????.... there's no change at grass root level.. the already powerful urban women are becoming more powerful and takin pride in ditchin husbands... whereas my village is still the same and all these women are still unaware of all this "revolution"
"why do u' ve to wait for "men" to do it??? i mean tomorrow will u start raping us and then claim u re bold.. ???"
Damn, Vij! And all this time I thought you were buying me drinks cause you liked me! I shall now cry into my pallu.
"and latitude to speak out is often misinterpreted as a platform to discuss sex.. every article, evry magazine which post abt a "bold" women has only to speak on her sexuality and sexual choices.."
Dont you think it's because of the abyssmal lack of talk about sex that this is happening to begin with? When it's passe, and people like you don't get your chuddies in a twist over this, this too shall die a natural death.
"sex or the number of times u had it, doesn make a woman ( or a man ) bold"
You are right. It makes them cool.
"why are we hyping this stuff so much??"
Why are "YOU" hyping this so much?
"why dont women address women's real issues"
Do that on your blog. I like Vij's stories cause I can relate. I'm urban, 28 and live in this kind of society. You wanna boohoo about walking to the village well 20kms away and getting raped by a couple of Thakurs along the way, do it on your own blog.
"...why cant u all behave like barkha dutt and stop behaving like pooja bedi????"
And how do you know how Barkha behaves? She smokes, drinks and abuses just as much as Pooja..trust me.
".... there's no change at grass root level.. the already powerful urban women are becoming more powerful and takin pride in ditchin husbands... whereas my village is still the same and all these women are still unaware of all this "revolution""
Well, you're village apparently has Internet access and access to Vij's blog. Viva la revolucion!
Hey Lash -
1.Is that what rape is according to u? A claim to being “bold”?
2.Sexuality and sexual choices is a big leap for independent women. Its a very very “REAL” issue in my sphere. I’ve also spoken about women having as much power and money, which is even better! If you’ve gone through all the comments up here from women, they all agree with what I’m trying to say. The Urban Women are a result of a process of evolution and exposure to media and cultural influences from other countries. I am aware of the problems of the village women, but I’m not in a position to comment or provide a solution.
3.Why are we hyping it? Because women no longer want to be called sluts for exercising their sexual choices/preferences/rights. It’s unfair, if nothing else. (When a man does it, he’s called a Casanova/playboy etc. When a woman does it, she’s a slut!) And though it’s still a struggle, I do see a change. But again, in my sphere.
4.What’s wrong with Pooja Bedi? She’s an attractive woman, single mother of 2 children, working in television to support herself and them, is still friends with her ex-husband. I think that’s inspirational. Another case in point is Amrita Singh. These are women who tell you that there’s life after divorce. That you can continue to be smart, attractive and capable of supporting yourself financially. For that matter, even Mallika Sherawat. Till now, all we had was actresses who were Miss World/Universe etc speaking out from a high pedestal. Mallika is what I would call “Grass Roots”. She’s someone who shows women that you can come from small towns, not know English, not have sugar daddys, and you can still survive in cities like Bombay and Delhi. Even Cannes and in TIME magazine. The evolution’s happening.
5.Barkha Dutt? Do you see her as more cerebral just because she’s on a news channel and hosts We The People? I work in media too and have done my share of “Issue-based” work to safely say that the media responsibility ends there. After its aired on TV, slickly packaged, it just becomes another tape in the archives. There are other issues to be talked about. Do you really see any journalist or people whom you perceive “intelligent/cerebral” in that village that you speak about?
You're welcome to continue the debate. I do feel intensely passionate abt this issue :-)
Can't believe someone equated rape to being bold. Rape has more to do with weilding power over a weaker person (in a woman's case-physically weaker) than just sex.
About the man wanting a relationship and the woman not: it just means one person has different wants from the other at that point of time. I think its time women stopped calling men bastards if they sleep with them without any long term plans. And vice-versa.
i said it all cos i am fed up reading abt women emancipation by talkin more and more sex ands only sex..women are still what they were a decade ago vij.... and what else shud i call a woman who has sex three times a day with three different men and claim all three are "boring"...shud i not call her a slut?? what do u call a guy who had sex n number of times a day?? stud?? wel if so i will call that female a stud too.. but to me both these m & f are sluts.. real sluts who has nuttin better to do..
and remember barkha is "known" for the work she is doin (includin the battle fields)and i dun respect her for being a journalist, but i respect her for the amnt of work she do in a day and the quality female that she is..call a woman bold when she has dome some real job..and this pooja bedi who is in every cocktail party, as far as i know jus bitches.. dun adore her for leading and supporting her kids after umpteen divorces..even dawood does that.. the point here is she gets a lot of attention for the pomp that she represents.. and for the number of her divorces..not for her quality..
and dont tell me an evolution is under way cos mallika came on time or cannes.. she , u must remeber, was the one who came on tv and said there's nuttin wrong in bein an infidel wife because somebody's husband was an infidel.. dun compare her with the grass roots.. the grass roots i talk abt are the ones who walk 20 miles a day to fetch water and yet get beaten for mere 20,000 rs... if tomorrow they run into bombay and slp with a director they can be on time too.. it doesn require too much quality to be there.. yu only need to be "flexible" ... so stop iconizing such sluts and be more real.. why cant both men and women lead a normal life thinkin jus enuff abt sex?? why is it that all of a sudden, indian intelluctuals find it important to discuss sex?? please stop all this nonsense and get this page 3 stuff out of everyone's mind.. we re capabe of much better things..
Lash,
Do you feel threatened by an independent woman in control of her sexuality? Or are you just envious that they will sleep around with everyone but not with you?
For someone who lists rape and sleaze as his interests, you sure have a very weird take on women who want and get the same things outta life as we men do.
Pooja Bedi and Barkha Dutt both work in the media. Just becuse you don't see Barkha on TV at a party doesn';t mean she's not there..(and since when did partying become such a crime anyway?)
Also, Pooja Bedi has been divorced ONCE (where are her umpteen divorces?). You're comparing a successful woman to Dawood Ibrahim?
Infidel husbands and wives? What's wrong with Muslim men marrying Hindu wives and vice versa?
We think about sex all the time because we (including you my young man) are sexual beings. We wouldn't be here unless our parents did the nasty and we spend every waking hour trying to get someone to do the nasty with us.
The holier-than-thou attitude starts to grate after a while. If you don't like Vij's blog, QUIT reading it!
Now, who moved my beef? Interesting as it looks, I'm not gonna get into this argument as I sometimes have to work with a bunch of leftie loonie co-workers who argue about things like these and I have enough of their crap
lash: A woman who has sex three times a day...need not be called anything!First rule of adult behaviour...No Name calling .If she's bored well it's a personal choice to relieve her boredom like that...or maybe she's just voracious. Is that an ugly word? BTW slut is also about finacial transanctions so technically your interpretation of the whole issue is not correct.
And about the woman who gets beaten up for 20,000 rs, well there are millions like you who cry the nominal ink tears. So let vij talk about other things.
And you would be very surprised to know, that even Barkha dutt enjoys parties.
"why cant u all behave like barkha dutt and stop behaving like pooja bedi????"
On a more polemic note, believe me there are not enough wars to cover and more parties to attend.
"not for her quality.."
Pray who appointed you to judge the quality of women. Or like all megalomaniacs, you are self appointed?
"why cant both men and women lead a normal life thinkin jus enuff abt sex?? "
And again what is enough? How do you quantify it? what is normal.A sneaking suspicion....is what you think or do just enough and absolutely normal.
And what makes you think Normal is right and Abnormal is wrong.Abnormal is just something which is not the rage. Something which everybody doesnt do.There's no value judgement attached to that.
"please stop all this nonsense and get this page 3 stuff out of everyone's mind.. we re capabe of much better things.."
Sulking in public is not the best way to prove a point.
Whyever would Vij listen to your rantings and ravings? And what are better things?
Intellectual penury and logic failure mars your piece.
The woman who trudges kms to get water and uh-oh Barkha Dutt could do with a better person to plead their case.
And i totally agree with Vik,you shouldnt whine and COMMAND vij to stop writing about page 3. Just stop reading it.Anyway, Vij just put a under PG rating for your blog.
A query.Purely out of academic interest.How can you list sleaze and rape as your interests?
"A woman who has sex three times a day...need not be called anything!"
If I had sex three times a day with three different women I'd call myself one lucky guy...
VG...U wont believe! I said exactly THAT to vikram and Reshu two hrs back!
Why this conspiracy to deprive poor Barkha Dutt of any excitement in her life? I do hope Barkha's doing other stuff besides reporting and newscasting.
Dear Lash, why does this have to be an either-or situation. What makes you think someone who has multiple sexual partners is not concerned or working for that poor woman in the village who has to walk 20km. for water?
I've personally known many women who see their sexual freedom as part of a continuum, as a significant part of the economic, political and social freedoms that everyone should have access to.
Also from what I know, having lived in many villages, that poor 20km-a-day walking champion woman has perhaps a more active and varied sex life than Pooja Bedi can muster. So stop patronising these women, and let them speak for themselves.
you're an awesome storyteller... i was going to mail you but there's no email address around here, and this comment section is overloaded!
"They don’t want to have a relationship, but as soon as you only want them for sex, they don’t like it. That’s when they call you an absolute total bitch!"
it's coz they can't handle not being the ones to decide. a power issue. which is also why they are so obsessive about the remote control too...
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Lash: for all your crying abt 'that village women'...i can bet my meager property on the fact that if things come to things..and a women is being beaten up in front of you and Vijayeta...she will be the one to take action against it...while u'll stand there and cry..or probably think abt the next article you need to write about that.
Vij if you read her blog..comes across as a doer..she acts and reacts based on the situation faced with..bet she won't be the one to walk up to that unfortunate woman and tell her ' u know this is happening to so many other womaen ..ever thought of becoming like Burkha Dutt'
Sincere apologies for getting carried away..to you and vij..but dude..talk about rubbing people the wrong way!!
is the whole world against me?? :))
i repeat i still think a lot of unnecessary attention is being given to rather trivial stuff..
and i wasnt askin vij to stop writing but i wonder how many of these guys would want THAT WOMAN in their "real " life...
and abt equating rape and blodness that was a poor selection of example..i wanted to write abt jumping into a well and later changed to rape.. :)) i apologise..
regarding my interests,leave that to me.. and regarding my social conciousness, i know what i can do and what i cant.. i am aware of my limitations..yet i beleive i ve done a gud job atleast in my village.
maybe i dun belong to this age.. maybe i am anachronistic.. thats what my next post will be abt..
:)) i withdraw :))
Wow, this has really taken off, but I'll stay clear of that.
In any case I am a total whore for the shiny disco balls, lord Bacchus and tolerably libidinous behaviour, so I am guilty as charged and hell rocks anyway if my sentence is there :)
What I really wanted to say was "hello shoo" :D
*snicker snicker*
"why is it that all of a sudden, indian intelluctuals find it important to discuss sex?? please stop all this nonsense and get this page 3 stuff out of everyone's mind.. we re capabe of much better things.."
-dammit, if we wanna talk about sex, we will! if we wanna talk about saddam hussein's trial, lubricants or anal sex, we fucking well will!
although i think the right to discuss sex should only lie with those who're getting, so dude, you're most welcome to sit in your corner and face the wall.
plis plis, fuRgIV m3 Vij N AlL.
i r3aLLy waNNa do DiS:
@ Lash
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Unbelievable.. Vij, your blog's comment section is beginning to compete with the actual blog for TRPs! :))
As far as proving a point is concerned, people, please note: he's definitely made us all sit up and take note of a startling Darwinian discovery - Some supposedly human brains failed to evolve beyond the neanderthal stage.
hmm.
I'm going to stay away from the rape discussion. Besides, whenever I make it to Bombay, I am buying Vikster the first round: I know we would be great buddies!
Sex without love or strings attached: I've tried it and it works. But it's like love; you have to find the right person. I thought I found someone recently who fit the bill, but damn, we started to have feelings for each other. It killed the sexual component.
Gosh, I love your blog.
I'd totally take you up on that drink.
Though as a woman you might want to stay clear of Lash's lynch mob. A woman who drinks? Shocking!!
What's next? You'd want to sleep with someone without asking your father if you can leave the house!
Whoa! The one day i'm miles away from a computer i get ALL these comments :D
A BIG BIG BIG Thank You to all of you!
Shilpa: I hope it doesnt make me Ekta Kapoor, though? And yes,the Darwinian theory...sad, but true!
Codey: 'Shoo says hi too! And yes, the good life. Pooja Bedi gets paid to party and even gets free designer clothes to wear...what wouldnt i give for all of that!
Morpheus: hehehe...u said it!
Methinks: It is a silly power/ego issue at the end of the day... When will men grow up! But this brings to mind Shilpa's comment...A vicious circle, is it?
Michael: YAYYYY!! I will definitely beat up anyone doing anything in front of me which i dont approve of!
Thalassa_Mikra: I agree abt village women speaking up. And yes, Barkha gives them that platform. But after that, Barkha goes out partying and all those other things one has seen and heard in the media circles. (Stuff i cant put in here!)
Enemy of the republic: Vikram is a darling! Oh, and tell me abt how the sex gets killed. Why cant some men realise they should just keep shut!
Vikster: Why doesnt anyone want to go out with me and buy me drinks :'( I'm not ALL that bad!
Lash: If you put your interests on a public profile, you cant then avoid them being brought up in discussions. I wouldnt call you anachronistic...yet! But, it takes all kinds to make this world, and it helps to be a bit more open-minded. Will definitely read yr post :)
hahaha...I was left rolling around in laughter at Lash's outrage over this...and yeah..I nod in agreement with all these people who've lashed out at him...
What someone writes on her blog is none of your business - so stop acting the moral policeman and go back to your village and do some good there.
And umm...I'd definitely love That Woman in my life...anyday! And frankly..I dont see why you even want to compare Barkha Dutt to Pooja Bedi - they're both achievers in their own fields having come up inspite of anachronistic mindsets like yours. And yeah...in the end, lash...its always about sex..thats how you also came into being...so one might as well enjoy it while one is at it...and not push it under the carpet as your ilk might want to...and anyway, why should women be constrained to addressing women's issues?? I dont see you addressing many men's 'issues' anywhere.
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Vij, If that makes you Ekta Kapoor, would that make us all of us commenting here those overdressed, underbrained, talentless actors?
Oh God, NO.
Blessed r d men who r hunted down by 'she birds of prey'!!!The age of lady lordship is just on the horizon. Artemis is coming back with a vengeance!! n i m sure if the lady is successful n sexy, she has every right to have all the goodie goddie men in the whole wide world!!Right ladies???
From an early man's point of view - Common protection, security, hunting n procreation, that's wat made man gregarious. Not 'Love story' by some eric segal.
Want to be loved? That's fine. Want to be laid? That should be pretty fine too;))
V!!!! U oughtta give Ekta Kapoor a 'K'ick in the butt man!! Daddys n sonnys are dying a 9 o clock death on dinning tables everyday. Make a telly!!
i dint know so many angry young men worked in my country.. what a way of gettin abused.. :))
why dun u all just shift the base u ve filled vijs post with a stahhering 52!! this is the 53 rd.
what a traffic!! neway i was wonderin what to post and u gave me somethin.. shift the base.. come home and start this again u are welcome :))
Loved the opening bit a lot and then meandered but nice all the way... enjoyed reading it a lot... sigh...now I just wish someone like THAT WOMAN would come into my life, I seem to attract all the comittment types of blond streaked bimbettes....
And Thanks for commenting on the PIll.. The Pill I refer to as life and swallow everyday to keep boredom at bay.. do visit again..
cheers
z
Came around to say thank you for visiting. Stayed to read, ignoring deadlines. Annie's recommendations are always worth the visit. :)
Tempted to weigh in on this, but those deadlines wail...
May I say again that I love your blog and I love reading all these comments.
I was going to answer your question about the love stuff, but then I realized that it might get me in trouble with some readers who know me in the flesh--in every way.
Keep writing. You are great--and you, me and Vikster will start drinking martinis at the club of your choice if I ever make it to Bombay--you guys make me want to go!
Don’t u think u shud tell someone that ure not interested in a relationship and want to just have sex? That way, they wud know what to expect. Men and women both.
And I feel it’s silly to justify anything by saying “ men do it too”
kya blog likha...kya comments likhe..u have poor lash, who's written down some very disgusting stuff on his blog..about women with multiple lovers..and men(snoop dogs as he calls them) who support such thinking. Poor guy has asked his friends to support him with this..just in case you don't understand whats written in malayalam..he tells one of his friends.."to just shut up and support him, coz he's in deep shit for what he posted on someone elses blog".
I want to ask "is it that you want men for sex only, because that's what you want, or is it that you want men for sex only, because that's what the men have always wanted?" ---this question directly relates to the paragraph "It’s only fair. Men have done it all their lives. Some still do. And almost all men have promised a relationship in order to get easy sex at some point or other in their lives. And almost all men, at some point, have opted out of a relationship stating commitment phobia as a valid, acceptable reason! It’s only fair if women do that now.”
It seems to me that while sleeping with x, y, or z is a choice of your own (and a very personal choice), you validate this choice by saying that u, v, w (all men) have always cheated on women and hence it is only fair that you, a woman, cheat said x, y, or z too (as they're also men). Just because the world is full of men who cheat and shy away from relationships, does it make sense for a woman to go cheat and do the same, especially for a woman who believes in the value of honesty and committment?
As there have always been men who have been out for the, as you call it, "easy sex" so there have also always been women who have been equally out for it....the only difference was that while men could do it freely, openly, withour fear of being thrown out or condemned ...women could not ....whereas today, both men and women have a level playing field...the kind of men and women who used to play then, play now ....the women play more lustily perhaps as it's a new found freedom! ....what i wonder is, has this freedom done anything for the cause of those men and women who do want committment, who do not wish to cheat or be cheated upon?
Contentment is a subjective word. You seem to have found it through, in your own words, "Giving up on relationships, ...and throttling up on power" ...for some, power and money brings the contentment, for some - those don't make no sense without meaningful relationships and committment!
wow ..that was something . really impressive read with lotsa boldness . u hav succeded in putting ur across points well ..
lash has this rare quality of getting your gut. i'd love to say ignore his mangled brains..but arrrrghh... his revolting comments are repulsive. the post on his blog makes me sad. sadder than a woman carrying 20 lts of water across 20 kms. she's not nearly as pathetic.
hmmm. a late entrant to the discussion, but my two-penny bit:
I write about the woman who walks 20 miles for water. or similar stuff. i blog about it too.
AND I think there's nothing wrong with vijayeta writing about women wanting casual sex. it's a relief, in fact. and it's normal.
It is perfectly natural for anyone of any sex to want to have casual ( or any other kind of ) sex with anyone of any sex. However, I fail to see the connection with 'independence' ( and / or 'emancipation' ) in such case ( As an aside, I do not understand how 'independence' is necessarily, a more desirable state to be in than its logical antonym - I would, however, desist from entering the realm of philosophy here ). The justifications given are not really warranted. You just want to have sex - go get it and be done with it ( Or continue - as the case might be :). As someone already pointed out, it seems a little puerile to base it in the context of "men have always done it" ( It is curious how this line of reasoning bestows an almost unconscious legitimacy and aspirational value to what they seem to have done over the ages, as contended ) . I agree that writing about women who live in villages does not amount to anything more meaningful than the particular selection of text under dispute ( It is just writing after all ).
lash, someone had once said that a promiscuous person is defined as somebody's who's getting more sex than you are...
and someone had also once said that sex is like air. it's no big deal unless you're not getting enough
while the comments on this one continue- there are a no. of not soo noisy hawkers like me who are waiting for part 8
:)
You seem to have a way with words and a cute sense of humor. Many of the issues raised can cause serious debate for hours though.
hi vijayeta
not connected to this post- ditty has moved and the link you have to her blog now lonks to someone else's blog
don't know if you know, just wanted to let u know incase
happy diwali :)
Casual sex - with no strings attached - is something that everyones always wanted .. be it man woman .. Till now it always used to be surrouned by shrouds of indecency and heaped on with lotsa cultural values. Now you just want to break out of it. And be on your own.
can anybody guess how many men pooja bedi must have slept with, how many rides?
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